Picture this scenario- a friend, coworker, fellow human comes to you and says “I need to borrow $1,000, it is something really important to me, will you give it to me?” What is your initial reaction to this? Umm what? What do you need it for? Hell no? I wish I could? Guilt that you cannot? Wondering how to pay your own life’s stuff without the $1000 in the bank? Money and currency brings up a mixed bag of emotions for most of us. But for requests like this we can objectively look at our bank account and say for starters, yes I have the dough, or no, I’m already pretty financially tight.
Now picture you are speaking to that same human after looking at your funds and you say “sorry bud, I just do not have it to give.” How often would that person look at you and demand that you find a way to come up with the money? ( I mean in the real world not a suspense thriller movie starring Liam Neeson) It just doesn’t happen. People seem to get that if you cannot afford something, then they cannot ask it of you.
So now, transform yourself to a fellow human that needs 6 hours of time on Saturday requesting you to help with childcare of her 4 energetic kiddos, or the man that needs to be moved out of his apartment to a new place for the 3rd time this year, or the boss that wonders if you can pick up the slack on a project for a fellow co-worker even when you are substantially drowning in your own work. Perhaps it is that friend who’s name when it comes up on your caller ID you know they need at least 2 hours of time to vent to you about the latest personal struggle unfolding. Or maybe it is to go to a concert, out dancing at a busy club, something fun, but you are run down after the week you have lived. We can fill in the blanks of the requests given, but what about how we react to those?
May I offer the suggestion to see our energy as currency, energy tokens if you will. When I was recovering from an injury to my brain I would feel as if I was waking up everyday with a cloth drawstring bag of energy tokens on my mattress next to me. I had no idea how many would show up, but there was no roll over tokens from the day before, and no telling what my budget would be for the day. I quickly realized that if I wanted to do something specific that day, then something else was not going to happen. Often that something required me to look into the face of people I loved, or wanted to help and tell them I simply couldn’t participate in their request. Why does this act of saying no, instill guilt or regret and not a level of matter o factness that I simply do not have energy tokens to budget for this? If you can relate to this feeling you are not alone.
I began to see my bag of tokens as a gift to invest, I would look in my bag and see ways that I could utilize my energy tokens on people, events, projects and resting, things that felt nourishing to me. In a word, I began to take control of my emotional bank account and damn it felt good! My best supporters would ask me during that time “if you have enough tokens on Saturday we are going to a movie and would love for you to come”! So wonderful! I quickly learned the people that saw my energy as a resource for them to utilize, and the people that knew it belonged to me to spend as I desired. In this headspace I began to show up more fully for things, spread myself a little less thin, and say my best yes, and at times a needed no. I became my own emotional accountant and began to spend in a life that I wanted. So if you are feeling energetically pick pocketed, spread too thin, afraid to say no to those in your immediate circle, I invite you to try on the coin analogy for a week or so, and see where your coins are being spent.Your energetic leprechauns will leap for joy at the pot of gold you can create for yourself, really, truly it is possible